I come from a family of readers. Not just my immediate family but my extended family too. My sister was a voracious reader as a young girl. In fact, there are old photographs with her with a book and me without. So when I wasn’t reading obsessively by the time I was 10 years old, my mother started getting palpitations thinking that she had given birth to a non-reader. Fortunately for us all, it was only a passing phase and soon I had my nose in books too. 

Enter books

If I think about it, I started reading more and more as I entered my teens. Now I wonder if it coincided with my bipolar manifestation and if I read to shut out the anxiety and the constant thoughts. Fortunately, I always had unlimited access to reading material thanks to my parents and cousins. 

The more books I read, the more I wanted to read. I remember times when on some weekends I would not get up from the couch for hours on end, my head in some story. I wasn’t always lucky with friends (I guess now it may have been my volatility due to bipolar). They weren’t always around either. I moved around a fair bit in my twenties so there were times in my life when I was without a friend. This is when I gravitated towards books even more. They were always there and because of them I was never alone. 

Unfortunately, even reading seems like an impossible task when I am under debilitating depression. I am not talking about times of extreme depressive cycles but rather just regular days and regular phases of lows. 

Reading as therapy

There are well known benefits of reading like increasing vocabulary, improving imagination and communication skills, widening your world view, keeping brain cells active, possibly delaying illnesses such as Alzheimer’s and others. 

Apart from these obvious benefits, I asked myself, what does reading (especially fiction) do for me? It gives me respite from my sadness, anxieties, constant thoughts and makes me feel good. Watching TV can do that too but I find that reading is much more immersive and requires more focus. It’s impossible to multitask while reading. Well written books have the power to take you to a different world, a different reality. 

I understand that this is a kind of escapism but why wouldn’t you escape into a world of beautifully woven stories with enchanting words and characters? What better to calm my chattering brain than to dive into a murder mystery or live vicariously in some fascinating foreign land. 

Books give me a sense of family and companionship. I remember when I was reading A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth, I could not stop thinking about the characters and would read a few pages every chance I got. I felt like I was part of their family and I felt a loss when I finished reading the book, like I had lost a family. 

I read all kinds of books; funny books, history, drama, literature, non fiction etc. I laugh when something funny happens, I cry when something sad happens, stories can break my heart or make me rejoice… whichever emotions the books bring up in me, are a catharsis to the messy cross wiring of complex emotions that is my mind. 

What to read

At any given point, I have three to four books on my kindle- 1) Murder mystery 2) Literature / drama / historical fiction 3) History 4) Biography / Non fiction. I read these books depending on my mood. I also always have multiple books because I have what I call ‘book insecurity’™. It is the feeling I experience when I am nearing the end of a book and if I don’t have one lined up. 

Life is too short to read something you don’t enjoy. I give a book around 40 pages to judge whether it captures me or not. If it doesn’t, I move to the next book. In my experience, books can only give you joy if you like what you are reading, without guilt. If you like fluff, read fluff, chicklits, war books, business books….whatever works for you. 

Resources

• Goodreads – I use this site to choose my books. You can see what I read by visiting my profile here. 
• Amazon 
• Book Riot
• Friends and family 
• Online articles on books
• Websites of awards such as Pulitzer, National awards etc. 
• Book stores with knowledgeable owners or sales people
• Libraries 

So many books, so little time. – Frank Zappa

My husband calls me a book snob. When my cousin met him the first time, (he was then my boyfriend), she only approved of him after seeing his library! I must admit, it played a big role for me too. 

I love books. I think it’s never too late to start reading. Reading books has helped me navigate through some of the most difficult periods of my life. I hope you can find the same solace through books that I do. 

I am not a mental health professional. All blog posts are based on my subjective experiences and opinions.