In my first post, I spoke about what triggered my Bipolar II Disorder. I was 13 and a friend spread some rumors about me in school. As a result, everybody stopped talking to me. This triggered an onset of insomnia that would last for, well, looks like a lifetime and an eventual diagnosis of Bipolar II Disorder. Last night, I had a nightmare that I was back in school and my friends refused to talk to me. I woke up feeling isolated and ostracized. 

Thinking about it, I realized that I actually have these kinds of nightmares quite often. I don’t consciously think about that episode and I have even spoken about it with my therapist and shrink; though years ago. For all practical purposes I have moved on and got over it. Yet, here I am, 28 years later reliving the horror in my sleep. Kids can be cruel. Most of us have heard about it or lived it. When I woke up today, I felt the need to address this issue. 

Kids have serious problems

No one could have predicted that something that seemed like a childish prank would trigger a latent mental illness in me or that the episode would stay with me for decades. It is also clear now that the person who started the rumors was going through something herself. Something like this is usually a symptom of a deeper problem. In this specific case, I would say in the case of both parties. 

Things are changing now but when I was in school, I think the most common reaction was to brush off any issues with adults saying, “They’re just kids, these things happen.” Back then, I never spoke to my parents about what I was going through and there was no school counselor. Had I been open about it, I am quite sure they would not have taken it lightly. Perhaps it would have saved me a few years of sleeplessness. Who’s to know? 

Attitude and awareness

People are much more aware of mental health today and those who have someone in their family or friends with an illness tend to be more watchful for signs. Children spend a majority of their lives in school. As you grow older, there are a lot of things you are dealing with as tweens or teens – puberty, hormonal changes, body image, comparison of grades, peer pressure surrounding anything from studies to sex. It is hard being a child today. 

The first psychiatrist I started going to was giving a lecture in my college. By then I had already been diagnosed and was eager to attend this lecture. There were youngsters and adults in the audience. He said that what children and youth go through in schools is serious to them. It may not feel serious to the adults but to them, it may be debilitating and if the adults in their lives don’t take them seriously, they are only making it worse for the children. 

Mental development and support

Of course, not everyone has a mental illness, but everyone does get affected in varying degrees. Even if one has a mental illness, it is unlikely to be diagnosed before they are in their late teens. In addition, the prefrontal cortex is not fully developed till the mid twenties. This can hamper the ability to deal with difficult situations in a productive manner. All the more reason for parents to keep an eye on their child’s behavior, moods and attitude. 

I grew up in an extremely stable and happy family. This was crucial in my case, given my illness. When I was finally diagnosed at 18, I had my parents’ unwavering support. Still do. I lost touch with the friend and don’t really know what her life is like. I only hope that she got the help and support she needed.