There are two kinds of people- those who sleep and those who don’t. Unfortunately, I am the second kind. If you read my first post, Jagged Little Pill, you will know that I stopped sleeping well when I was 13 years old. Over the years, my sleep quality improved intermittently but it has largely been unpredictable. Insomnia is my #1 enemy.

I rarely sleep well at night. On average I’m able to sleep well twice a week, if that. Every night is a guessing game. I never know if I’m going to sleep or not. Last night I slept well after five nights of terrible sleep. Even with medication, sometimes sleep is elusive. I’ll be honest, even after so many years I still haven’t found the solution to this problem. However, I have learnt to live with it and go on with my day.

Insomnia and mental illness

Insomnia is common to many mental illnesses and it was the first symptom I experienced as well. Recent studies have shown that there is a cyclical connection rather than a causal one, which means that insomnia is a symptom of mental illness but it can also trigger a mental illness or lead to emotional instability. 

I can attest to the fact that good quality sleep is necessary for mental, emotional and physical wellbeing. I am able to have a highly productive day after I have slept well at night. After years of practice, I am still able to function without sleep, but the productivity reduces and negativity and anxiety increases, which in turn can cause sleeplessness. So the vicious cycle continues.

Sleeping is not a passive activity, contrary to what we may think. In fact, our brains and bodies heal and rejuvenate while we are asleep. Each stage of sleep has a specific role to play. You can read more about the role of sleep and connection between insomnia and mental illness in this article. 

Getting ready to sleep

To me sleep has become like a fussy friend that I have to mollycoddle everyday. Because it’s not just the actual being asleep part that requires work but also preparing to go to bed and then preparing to fall asleep. So what’s the difference? Well, the preparing for sleep really starts from the morning.

Routine

No matter how I have slept (or not) the night before, I wake up at the same time everyday. Having a daily routine is really helpful. It is especially hard if you don’t have a 9 to 5 job. I don’t have one right now so I have created a routine for myself that includes having tea, doing yoga, exercising, cooking, writing the blog, a couple of voluntary gigs I’m doing and socializing as well. When I pack my day with stuff to do, I also feel like I deserve the relaxation in the evening and the weekend. In addition, when I do all of this, I am inevitably tired by the evening, which is definitely good for sleep.

Diet

I have noticed that I generally feel better when I eat healthy, home cooked food because it is lighter on the stomach. Especially on days that I am sleep deprived, healthy food makes my body feel better. I love eating out so I need to balance this with sufficient wholesome food. Furthermore, my husband and I eat dinner early so that there is a good three to four hours to digest before we go to bed.

Exercise

This is a slightly tricky one I’ve realised. Too much exercise and I’m too exhausted to fall asleep. Too little and I’m not tired enough. I have a tendency to overdo things so this one is a bit hard for me. I have had to learn to be extremely aware of what my body is telling me. Also exercising later in the evening is actually detrimental to sleep because it stimulates the body and mind and then it can be hard to wind down.

Falling asleep

For years, the anxiety of not falling asleep caused me to stay awake. This is a common phenomena, even discussed by Viktor E Frankl. He suggested reverse therapy, meaning you tell yourself to stay awake and that will help you fall asleep. Along with this technique, I tried many others like meditation, music, hot milk, etc. Reading is the only thing that helps me fall asleep.

I have a different ‘falling asleep book’. It is something that is not too exciting, nor too cerebral. If it is a slightly boring book, that’s ideal. If I read a mystery or an interesting book before sleeping, I get wired and definitely get some weird dreams or nightmares or I want to keep reading! I have figured out a way to prop up my kindle in a way that it stands on its own. I then have to only stick out my finger to turn the page. Eventually, one line blurs into the next and I fall asleep. I fall asleep alright, but it doesn’t necessarily mean I stay asleep. 

Staying asleep

Staying asleep is the trickiest. Over the years, I have experimented with many different ideas. Unfortunately I have not found a foolproof solution to getting good quality sleep nor have I found a solid connection between things I’ve mentioned above and the quality of asleep.

My latest endevour in trying to establish the connection between sleep and my daily schedule is keeping a journal. Every night, I write down a list of anxieties with possible solutions, what I ate, exercise, if I had any alcohol, time I went to bed and the dosage of medicine I took. The next morning I enter in the quality of sleep. I’ve only been doing this since last week so I haven’t as yet found distinct relationships but I am hopeful that something will emerge in a few weeks.

Having said that, one obvious connection is anxiety. I have mentioned before that I have high levels of anxiety and these definitely cause sleeplessness. Small changes in my environment clearly affect me and cause anxiety. The obvious reasons for anxiety are easy to identify but I now believe that there are some hidden anxieties that are responsible for the persisting insomnia.

So what works?

While, it is obvious that I haven’t found one magic solution, here is a list of habits that definitely helps. It includes those mentioned above and some others.

• Routine
• Exercising regularly
• Eating healthy and early in the evening
• Sleeping early and at the same time everyday
• Waking up at the same time no matter what
• Not drinking tea of coffee after 5pm 
• Reading to fall asleep

Quite often nothing works and I have to consult my therapist and psychiatrist. Sometimes, they adjust my medicines for short periods and this helps. The thing is that insomnia or sleep problems are intricately connected with other parts of our lives. So like medication and treatment, what works for me may not work for someone else. The best thing to do is keep trying different things to see what works. And so I keep trying and hope that tonight I will have a blissful sleep. 

If you are experiencing the symptoms mentioned above, please contact a mental health professional. 

I am not a mental health professional. All blog posts are based on my subjective experiences and opinions.