One of my biggest and constant problems is a continuously thinking mind. Parallel thoughts running inside my brain like crossed wires. Also the reason why sleeping is so hard and a fixed routine and a meaningful productive life is so important. I crave silence but silence and my brain are like star crossed lovers. Then there’s anxiety as another villain. All stars have to be aligned to get through the day with as little drama and anxiety as possible. Moments…
Analyzing the need to have children and exploring other forms of motherhood
Using chaos theory as an analogy for chaotic emotions
Struggling with long covid and depression
I am not a morning person. Well, sometimes neither am I a day nor night person! When I wake up, I never feel happy or have a carpe diem attitude. On some days, it takes a tremendous amount of effort to get out of bed. On most days, a cup of chai gives the push. After reading a number of articles, I came to the conclusion that I probably have morning depression. These articles stated that people with mental illness…
On January 1, 2023, I woke up feeling mildly depressed. But there was another unfamiliar accompanying feeling. After going through my repertoire of complicated feelings and emotions, I was able to identify it as fear. Real fear of 2023. Fear of what I want to do, need to do, am expected to do and fear of losing people. 2021-2022 really did a number on that one. What is normal? I went through everything that had happened in my life in…
I have been ruminating over how to write this post for many days now. I am not sure about how I can put into words everything I experienced over the month of July and the life transforming changes that occurred as a result. In the past, I have spoken about my struggles with Bipolar II and crippling anxieties. I also suffered from almost constant chatter in my head. In July, I chose to experiment and do something completely different that…
Sharwari Tilloo and Manasa Murari Have you heard that story about the cat stealing milk and getting caught? When she was caught, she closed her eyes because she thought no one would see her. I am that cat. I think if I stand in a corner, no one will see me. At work or with people I know, I am comfortable and can be chatty. So most people are shocked to know that I am an introvert. I suspect it…
A few weeks ago, Piali Dasgupta approached me to talk about my journey with Bipolar II Disorder on her podcast The Mind Podium. We spoke about mental health in general and Bipolar II specifically. Our conversation was around societal and personal constraints, difficulties and solutions to navigating life through mental illness. Please do listen to the podcast here. I hope you find it useful. You can listen to the Mind Podium podcasts on Spotify, Amazon Audible, Gaana and Hubhopper. Piali…
Last week I spoke about anxiety, the different kinds of anxiety and how it affects me mentally and physically. Like mentioned, anxieties tend to manifest bodily in one form or another. Please refer to last week’s post ‘Anxious much?’ to read more about it. Coping versus avoidance We have coping mechanisms to handle any unpleasant feeling or experience. The mechanisms may not always be positive or helpful and may in fact be avoidance tactics rather than coping mechanisms. Let me…