Browsed by
Tag: depression

Finding your silence 

Finding your silence 

One of my biggest and constant problems is a continuously thinking mind. Parallel thoughts running inside my brain like crossed wires. Also the reason why sleeping is so hard and a fixed routine and a meaningful productive life is so important. I crave silence but silence and my brain are like star crossed lovers. Then there’s anxiety as another villain. All stars have to be aligned to get through the day with as little drama and anxiety as possible.  Moments…

Read More Read More

Why so tired?

Why so tired?

I am not a morning person. Well, sometimes neither am I a day nor night person! When I wake up, I never feel happy or have a carpe diem attitude. On some days, it takes a tremendous amount of effort to get out of bed. On most days, a cup of chai gives the push. After reading a number of articles, I came to the conclusion that I probably have morning depression. These articles stated that people with mental illness…

Read More Read More

Who am I?

Who am I?

On January 1, 2023, I woke up feeling mildly depressed. But there was another unfamiliar accompanying feeling. After going through my repertoire of complicated feelings and emotions, I was able to identify it as fear. Real fear of 2023. Fear of what I want to do, need to do, am expected to do and fear of losing people. 2021-2022 really did a number on that one.  What is normal? I went through everything that had happened in my life in…

Read More Read More

I’m not here

I’m not here

Sharwari Tilloo and Manasa Murari Have you heard that story about the cat stealing milk and getting caught? When she was caught, she closed her eyes because she thought no one would see her. I am that cat. I think if I stand in a corner, no one will see me. At work or with people I know, I am comfortable and can be chatty. So most people are shocked to know that I am an introvert. I suspect it…

Read More Read More

Demystifying Bipolar Disorder

Demystifying Bipolar Disorder

A few weeks ago, Piali Dasgupta approached me to talk about my journey with Bipolar II Disorder on her podcast The Mind Podium.  We spoke about mental health in general and Bipolar II specifically. Our conversation was around societal and personal constraints, difficulties and solutions to navigating life through mental illness.  Please do listen to the podcast here. I hope you find it useful. You can listen to the Mind Podium podcasts on Spotify, Amazon Audible, Gaana and Hubhopper. Piali…

Read More Read More

Drawing from Nature

Drawing from Nature

I have greatly benefited from the lockdowns that resulted from the COVID-19 pandemic, which gave me ample time to introspect on my experiences related to mental health. As I recall, the last time I experienced a prolonged absence from social interactions was during summer vacations. Growing with Nature My sister and I spent most summer days locked indoors till our parents returned from work. We lived as a nuclear family in a largely unfamiliar and possibly unsafe metropolitan city. Being…

Read More Read More

It could have been me

It could have been me

WARNING: This post contains disturbing content about suicidal ideation and may trigger thoughts of self harm.  If you are having suicidal thoughts, call a friend or a helpline.  “He died of cancer… it is so sad. He was such a jovial person and was so successful. How could he have cancer?”  Does this sentence make sense? What does cancer have to do with success, a family or being a jovial person? Now replace ‘cancer’ with ‘suicide’.  In the last few…

Read More Read More