This last month has been really intense on the home and work front. My husband and I are very privileged to be able to have a nomadic lifestyle, so on a regular basis we are in between India, Spain and the US and we also travel to other places when we can. We both work remotely so that gives us the space. For nearly two months I have been in India now. Because I was going to be here for…
One of my biggest and constant problems is a continuously thinking mind. Parallel thoughts running inside my brain like crossed wires. Also the reason why sleeping is so hard and a fixed routine and a meaningful productive life is so important. I crave silence but silence and my brain are like star crossed lovers. Then there’s anxiety as another villain. All stars have to be aligned to get through the day with as little drama and anxiety as possible. Moments…
This post talks about the challenges of depression and the importance of close relationships.
Analyzing the need to have children and exploring other forms of motherhood
Using chaos theory as an analogy for chaotic emotions
For the last two weeks, I’ve been laid up with two intense infections that overlapped- stomach flu/gastritis and either H3N2 or Covid. I have no energy, I am breathless all the time and my delicate stomach won’t allow me eat much. Being someone who likes to exercise and be occupied all the time, this period of quarantine has been mind numbingly boring. So if I get a sudden unprecedented burst of energy at 4.30am, I am going to take full…
I am not a morning person. Well, sometimes neither am I a day nor night person! When I wake up, I never feel happy or have a carpe diem attitude. On some days, it takes a tremendous amount of effort to get out of bed. On most days, a cup of chai gives the push. After reading a number of articles, I came to the conclusion that I probably have morning depression. These articles stated that people with mental illness…
On January 1, 2023, I woke up feeling mildly depressed. But there was another unfamiliar accompanying feeling. After going through my repertoire of complicated feelings and emotions, I was able to identify it as fear. Real fear of 2023. Fear of what I want to do, need to do, am expected to do and fear of losing people. 2021-2022 really did a number on that one. What is normal? I went through everything that had happened in my life in…
In my first post, I spoke about what triggered my Bipolar II Disorder. I was 13 and a friend spread some rumors about me in school. As a result, everybody stopped talking to me. This triggered an onset of insomnia that would last for, well, looks like a lifetime and an eventual diagnosis of Bipolar II Disorder. Last night, I had a nightmare that I was back in school and my friends refused to talk to me. I woke up…
I have been ruminating over how to write this post for many days now. I am not sure about how I can put into words everything I experienced over the month of July and the life transforming changes that occurred as a result. In the past, I have spoken about my struggles with Bipolar II and crippling anxieties. I also suffered from almost constant chatter in my head. In July, I chose to experiment and do something completely different that…