Chaos Theory
Using chaos theory as an analogy for chaotic emotions
In Sickness and in Health
For the last two weeks, I’ve been laid up with two intense infections that overlapped- stomach flu/gastritis and either H3N2 or Covid. I have no energy, I am breathless all the time and my delicate stomach won’t allow me eat much. Being someone who likes to exercise and be occupied all the time, this period of quarantine has been mind numbingly boring. So if I get a sudden unprecedented burst of energy at 4.30am, I am going to take full…
Why so tired?
I am not a morning person. Well, sometimes neither am I a day nor night person! When I wake up, I never feel happy or have a carpe diem attitude. On some days, it takes a tremendous amount of effort to get out of bed. On most days, a cup of chai gives the push. After reading a number of articles, I came to the conclusion that I probably have morning depression. These articles stated that people with mental illness…
Demystifying Bipolar Disorder
A few weeks ago, Piali Dasgupta approached me to talk about my journey with Bipolar II Disorder on her podcast The Mind Podium. We spoke about mental health in general and Bipolar II specifically. Our conversation was around societal and personal constraints, difficulties and solutions to navigating life through mental illness. Please do listen to the podcast here. I hope you find it useful. You can listen to the Mind Podium podcasts on Spotify, Amazon Audible, Gaana and Hubhopper. Piali…
COVID, MY TEACHER – PART III
I come from a unique family where my parents are each other’s best friends, companions and partners. My mother is undoubtedly the rock of our family and my father will attest to this. She is the strongest and most compassionate person I know. Someday I hope to be sthitapradnya (stable or balanced) like her. I am sharing this because through my father’s illness, even when he was at death’s door, she was rattled but calm, composed and accepting of the…
Normal is underrated
Yesterday I was 23 and financially and emotionally independent. I was working towards fulfilling my dream career; a PhD student at a ‘top-tier’ institute. On paper my life was perfect, and yet, I felt like I did not deserve to be happy or enjoy simple pleasures like hot showers, delicious meals, meeting friends etc. I did not stop myself from doing these, but I constantly felt guilty about it. I went on with life ordinarily and lived with my feelings…
The mental illness Trifecta
Who or what makes up this holy trifecta? The foundation of the quality of my life is the trifecta of my psychiatrist, my therapist and my medicines. There is an ongoing debate about whether one should take antidepressants or not. I have heard many people reject medicines because they make them feel sleepy or listless etc. In my experience and for my illness, Bipolar II, medicines are necessary because what is basically making me feel depressed or hypomanic is the…