This last month has been really intense on the home and work front. My husband and I are very privileged to be able to have a nomadic lifestyle, so on a regular basis we are in between India, Spain and the US and we also travel to other places when we can. We both work remotely so that gives us the space. For nearly two months I have been in India now. Because I was going to be here for…
Using chaos theory as an analogy for chaotic emotions
For the last two weeks, I’ve been laid up with two intense infections that overlapped- stomach flu/gastritis and either H3N2 or Covid. I have no energy, I am breathless all the time and my delicate stomach won’t allow me eat much. Being someone who likes to exercise and be occupied all the time, this period of quarantine has been mind numbingly boring. So if I get a sudden unprecedented burst of energy at 4.30am, I am going to take full…
On January 1, 2023, I woke up feeling mildly depressed. But there was another unfamiliar accompanying feeling. After going through my repertoire of complicated feelings and emotions, I was able to identify it as fear. Real fear of 2023. Fear of what I want to do, need to do, am expected to do and fear of losing people. 2021-2022 really did a number on that one. What is normal? I went through everything that had happened in my life in…
Happy New Year! Let’s hope 2022 turns out a lot better than 2021. To start things off on a positive note, here’s a fun post for you. If you’ve read my previous post, you will know that my father was seriously ill from post COVID complications and as a result, I stayed in Pune for almost four months after many many years. The positive outcome of all the COVID lockdowns is that the bird population has increased and many different…
By Sharwari Tilloo and Manasa Murari I have spent nearly the last three weeks struggling to crawl out of a fairly severe depressive phase. It is painful and slow and improvement everyday is almost imperceptible. This struggle is something that I have come to terms with. The cyclical depression will never go, this is also a fact. However, like I have always said, it does get better. It requires effort though and my life is better for the effort I…
I feel intensely. It’s not just stress or anxiety but all emotions- joy, anger, hurt, sadness, frustration, irritation et al. There is extensive research on emotion regulation in bipolar and anxiety disorders and there seems to be a connection. People with these disorders tend to be poor at regulating emotions. I have spoken to friends who have mental conditions and they too say they feel intensely. I used to be much worse at regulating emotions than I am today. The…